what do you do
after having failed
repeatedly 
to grasp it
what it is that made you
what it is that keeps you
here

you have seen light travel
and you have made the waters subside
and you have cared for someone 

so much

you thought you had skimmed
yourself

you halved your wholeness
while overflowing 
up to your head
knee deep 
in all the world's riches 

yet still

all the contradictions you unveiled

and all the riddles you uncovered  
are not enough
are never enough 
to help you grasp it
because still you are lost 
and still your are alone
and still you are
scared

of the flight ahead
of the speed of time
and

all the wisdom you were able to take from the world
all that you want to see grow into the world
so

what do you do now
while trying to grasp it
that feeling 
that has not been given a name 
a feeling so closely related to being alive

of gravity disappearing 
to where it came from

and you are shaken to the core 
by the thought of unbecoming

of turning from dream to death
without having worked out all the metaphors

without having made sense of
all you have seen and heard and touched
and without having expressed
trivially
as if in passing

that the borders smear 
and the perimeters crumble 
a feeling in sight 
but so far out of reach
that I am asking still
what do we do